Boy howdy that pisses me off.

**Editor's Note: This post was inspired by actual people. This post was actually written in my head last night after one such person's insensitive comments. Instead of punching him in the mouth, I went home and created the following.

My biggest pet peeve is racism. Without a doubt, it sends me over the edge every time I am exposed to it. I am getting incredibly tired of my “friends” and their “I’m not racist, but….” comments. I also don’t understand why race is a factor when telling a story only when the person in the story is not white. Why the fuck do I have to know that the lady at the grocery store who had to have a price check was black or yellow or red or purple? If she was white, it wouldn’t be a factor. No one ever says, “Yeah, this white bitch cut me off on the turnpike this morning.”

Perhaps coming from a mixed family I am somewhat overly sensitive, but I don’t think that is the only reason it bothers me. I just find it completely unnecessary and I really don’t understand it. As I have said in previous posts, I don’t see color or race, I only see people. It baffles me that one race can hate another race based solely on the color of one’s skin, or shape of one’s eyes, or color of one’s hair. How can you hate me if you don’t even know me?

I know, I know….I am being naïve thinking that this will ever end. It won’t, sadly. Since the beginning of time people have apparently had this need to hate others, dominate others, enslave others, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Well, I’m done with it. The next time I am with anyone who exhibits racism, even if prefaced with the above-noted disclaimer, they are going to get an ear full, and my foot up their arse.

And for the record, it does offend me when I’m referred to disdainfully as a “born again,” as if that makes me a freak. I believe in God. I really like God a lot, and I’m not going to let anyone else try to make me feel like I’m a freak because of it. So, God – no worries, I think you rock.

I think I am going to sign everyone up for a course down at the local learning annex in tolerance and understanding. We can even stop for pizza and sodas after.

Peace :-)

Hair! What a great musical.

Thank you to all for your helpful (?) advice with regard to my hair. I decided that change is not always good. Stayed with the hair-do I have had for months now! Just a little trim. So, $125 later I was out of there with fresh color, a trim, conditioner, some make-up and red hair color on my white shirt. Nice. You will all be relieved that I washed it when I got home and it came out! No charge for the stained shirt.

Tip of the week stolen from my good friend Rick a.k.a. ROC. It cracked me up and I think we should give it a try.

Next time you are too drunk to drive,
walk to the nearest pizza shop,
place an order,
and when they go to deliver it,
catch a ride home with them.

So now I'm back, from outer space

Perhaps you have noticed that I have not posted since last Thursday. Or perhaps, you have noticed and just don't care. Perhaps this is your first visit and so you didn't notice, but would have cared had you noticed. In any case, I would love to tell you it is because I've been in Aruba with no computer, or internet access. I would love to tell you it is because I have been so busy shopping for new shoes and Prada backpacks that the thought of blogging never crossed my mind. I would love to tell you that I have been negotiating peace in the middle east and it was impossible to break free. Alas, none of those are true. I just haven't had anything witty or amusing to talk about and quite honestly, still don't. Just didn't want you to think that I had been murdered like Nick by those damned penguins.

I am getting my hair done tonight. Haven't decided yet whether to go way different and maybe become a blonde, or just stick with red. Also, short or stay medium length? Decisions, decisions.

Busy at work...

Lo Lo and I are always quite professional in our work place. Below is an actual e-mail conversation between the two of us.

Subject: did you ever...

LoLo:

…smell your ex-boyfriend? Someone has washed their clothes in the same detergent and/or fabric softener as my ex, and I’m smelling him right now. I don’t want to be thinking of him, but I can’t help it. DAMN THESE CLEAN PEOPLE!

Mel:

I know what you mean – certain smells. My first love always wore Lagerfeld….always think of him when I smell it. Hurry up and fart or something!

LoLo:

Already did, and it’s not working.

Mel:

Hmmm, you may want to poop your pants.

LoLo:

I think I just pooped in my pants.

A rose by any other name.....

My last post was all about the movies. I commented that I have not seen Gone with the Wind. I should also mention that I am named after Melanie from Gone with the Wind, Scarlett's sister. I have commented to my mother that I don't appreciated being named after the sickly Melanie. This pisses her off every time I say it as she believed Melanie to be the strong sister. Hmmm, now that I think about it I sure seem to piss my Mom off a lot.

My middle name is Jill. My Dad gave me this name because he was in love with Jill St. John. One of my sisters has the same middle name - guess he was really diggin' Jill.

Anyway, who is your namesake?

Hump Day

Last night I watched this cool show on AFI top 100 movie quotes. I now need to watch several movies.
1. Airplane - this movie is a classic and I probably quote it about once a week
2. Wizard of Oz - great movie! The wicked witch still scares me!
3. Casablanca - have never seen this movie.
4. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood - this is one of my fave chick flicks - I can relate with Ashley Judd's character - you know, the crazy part.
5. All James Bond. I am obsessed.
6. When Harry Met Sally. What a fun love story.

There are many more, but here is a good start to my list. Any movies you feel the need to see?

No time for mood swing

Pity party over. Just not gonna have it today!

Here I am in New York City last year. We didn't get to see the show, but it was awesome just being there!

Mood swing anyone?

It is amazing to me the mood swings I go through in any given day. Hell, any given hour. Sometimes it is a person, sometimes a thought. I’ll start out in a grand mood, on top of the world. Then I’ll remember that I’m 34 years old, no children (of my own) and in a job that really any dumbass could do. That takes the wind right out of my sails. The opposite of that would be when I am in a shitty mood, hating the world and I get to see on of my nieces. The two of them are like little rays of sunshine. Unfortunately I don’t get to see them every day, so usually once I am in a shitty mood it sticks.

Then I think to myself, suck it up. Life could be worse. Inevitably I tell myself to fuck off, if I want to be in a shit mood I’m allowed. So, I’m thinking around noon today I’ll throw myself a pity party should anyone like to join me. No? That’s ok….really only room for one. I believe today we can attribute my foul mood to a couple of things. Got up on time (yay!), left for work on time (yay!) and a fucking accident on the shore way caused me to be 15 minutes late. In the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. But, I have one good nerve left, and my commute is tap dancing all over that bitch.

Been thinking a lot lately about my lack of pregnancy. We have been trying for so long and nothing. Pondering when it will be time for me to throw in the towel on having a baby. This makes me so incredibly sad I feel like the breath is being sucked out of me. I am pretty sure that if I do decide to give up, I will not leave my bed for a month and will become a total recluse (more than normal!) for awhile. Great, can’t wait.

I’m hoping that the mood swing pendulum will be on the upswing after lunch. Right now I’d like to go bury my head in the sand for awhile.

Blog MD

I hope this doesn't gross anyone out, but I have to know. Is it bad when one goes pee and it smells like Cheerios? It is a bit worrisome in that I never eat Cheerios.

Crash into me

I have loved Dave Matthews Band for years. I look forward with much anticipation to my yearly trek to Blossom to watch them in concert. This year was incredible. I sat in the pavilion – usually we sit in the lawn. I actually prefer the lawn, but the people I went with felt they were too old for the lawn. Whatever. It worked out well that we sat in the pavilion because it rained like a sonofabitch!

The House of Blues VIP reception before the show was just ok. The beer was Coors Light draft and gave me a nasty headache Thursday morning. The food was average….lots of cheese, fruit and crackers. The pork was great, the chicken was dry. Ah well, can’t have it all I guess. Next year I’ll try to get on Dave’s tour bus and eat with them before the show!

The show rocked. IT EFFING ROCKED. They played some new stuff, some old stuff and just basically jammed on stage. They played Crush which is probably my all time fave song….and I had no one to make out with L It is the best make out song! I sang really loud instead.

Our seats were great- I could actually see Dave on stage. Also, we could watch on the giant TV screens. Not close enough that revealing my boobies would have been productive. Had I been in the front row I totally would have. I love that man. Sorry hubby, but he is on my list and that list is now laminated. I may have to travel in the next few months to see them as I hate waiting a whole year before getting to see them in concert again.

I know there are a lot of DMB bashers out there, including most of my friends and family so that kind of sucks. At least I was surrounded by fellow DMB-lovers on Wednesday. They have such a wonderful blend of music – lots of sax and fiddle. Dave’s singing is awesome. The bass player is phenomenal and that drummer’s got some skilz! All in all it was one of the better shows. Sucked that there was only one encore, but they worked their asses off during the show.

All in all had a great time, even though I didn’t show anyone my boobs and didn’t get to make out during Crush!

Yesterday sucked ass. Huge headache from draft beer. It was raining and cold so no pool time. Ended up watching Sex and the City all day. Oh well, at least I wasn’t at work!

Stay tuned....

I am only working 1/2 today and I am off tomorrow. My yearly excursion to Blossom to see Dave Matthews Band is today. I plan to drink loads and if I get close enough, show Dave my boobs.

I'll be around until about noon today and then I am outta here suckas! Tomorrow I will be lounging at my friend Barb's pool sipping frozen drinks!

Wine, ruins and art

Ubermilf posed a very good question. Her questions was, for those of you late coming to the party, “I was going to ask you which you preferred, the south of France or Paris. I've only been to Paris.” Very good question and I have been pondering all morning (while working diligently of course).

The answer is, I don’t know. They are so different from each other; it was like taking 2 separate vacations. We started in the South of France. Gorgeous countryside, sprawling grape vines of the vineyards. Little communities built up in the hills. Every day was a new adventure to see little snippets of history. It was very laid back. So laid back that if we didn’t get food before 6 p.m. we were pretty much out of luck as everything closes. Went to my now favorite French wine town - Chateau Neuf de Pap and bought a bottle of wine that we can’t open for another 4 years.
We took day trips to wonderful places such as St. Remy to see the mental hospital where Van Gogh stayed, and painted. Wow. I couldn’t get enough. Of course, he is one my favorite artists. Actually, he is my favorite artist. Anyway, we saw loads of Roman ruins. We went to Nimes and walked around the huge Coliseum in the middle of town (after having a mental break down due to my husband’s tomfoolery, this may not be one of my fave memories). Spent a day in the fishing city of Marseilles where we had an unbelievable lunch…..for the record my tuna steak cost $18 euro, and the total bill was over $400.00! That story deserves a blog of its own!

Then off to Paris. Wow, what a city. So many incredible things to see. So many little bistros to stop in and have a bottle of wine whilst contemplating where to go next. We saw the Arc de Triomphe, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Père Lachaise where, among others, Jim Morrison, Oscar Wilde, and Gertrude Stein, are laid to rest. Walked down the Champs Elysee and saw the Louis Vuitton store (mecca!). Purchased some pants and a few shirts at some boutiques (after a few bottles of wine) and when I returned home discovered that they were a little too, um, not conservative enough (showed WAY too much skin!). Somehow I didn’t realize this while trekking around the streets of Paris wearing my new duds! The friggin’ Metro rocks! Very clean, very safe. We even had our own neighborhood bar right across the street from our hotel – the Guinness sign was a beacon in the night. They spoke English and served great mojitos!

Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to go to Normandy, or the film festival in Cannes. Also we had hoped to get in a day trip to Italy, but it was just too far away even by fast train.

I am leaving so much out because it would take 20 pages to recount the entire vacation. Suffice it to say that it was the best vacation of my life. I was with my husband, and two of our best friends who enjoy drinking French wine as much as we do! If I had to pick whether I liked Paris or the South of France better, I would have to say……I’ll get back to you.

I will continue to post pictures of our trip with a paragraph or two and eventually you’ll have the whole story. Voila!

Pont du Gard.

Here we are at the Roman aqueduct in Nimes, France. You can learn more about it here Pretty impressive! We are total history dorks, so we eat this stuff up. You may notice the same outfit as the bones picture. Could have a lot to do with the airline not sending our luggage. But that blog is for another day. And no, I wasn't trying to push him over the edge. Or was I?

Seriously, check out the sac on that guy....the statue has a big one too! 

To serve, protect, and squish

Taken from CNN.com.

Officer runs over hit-and-run victim
GASTONIA, North Carolina (AP) -- A police officer responding to an emergency call of a man struck by a car accidentally ran over the victim with his cruiser Thursday, authorities said.
Investigators remained uncertain whether the victim was already dead when he was struck a second time by the police car, said Sheriff's Department Capt. Tony Robinson.
The North Carolina State Highway Patrol was investigating.
The 911 call was received early Thursday, police said. After reaching the scene, officer J.C. May was blinded by the high beams of a parked car and struck the victim.
The man was in the road and was pronounced dead at the scene. His name was not available, Robinson said.
May was placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation.

Friday pic

It's Friday, I'm feeling a little spunky! So, here is a picture of me in Paris in the catacombs. Holy crap, one of my favorite things that we did. Millions and millions of bones. If you attempt to steal a bone, they march you back to where you got it and make you put it back. Awesome. My hubby loved it too. The other couple we went with (shout out to Tam and KP!) were freaked out a little. Whatever, it was cool. And no matter how many times I said "I see dead people" it was funny every time. To me anyway!
And notice that dorky smile. I was way too excited!

Mel's addiction

I think I may be addicted to blogging. I didn't even know blogging existed until late last year (embarrassing to admit). Now my day is spent reading other blogs, commenting on other blogs, waiting for people to comment on my blog, and waiting sometimes not so patiently for people to update their blogs. When I am not at my computer I find myself thinking, "Ooh, I have to remember this conversation, it will be an awesome blog" or "Wish I had my camera, this would be great for my blog" or "Is that hottie over there John from Shop Dungarees?" Yeah, this is a bit worrisome.
My father once told me that he thought perhaps the computer was the anti-Christ, in the literal sense. I don't know about all that, but it is pretty time consuming. I may have to wean myself a bit, maybe go out and actually experience something for myself instead of just reading about it on other's blogs....although I don't plan to try tea bagging (see Underhill's post).
Who am I kidding? I'm going no where. I would miss you all too much if I actually went out and had a life! I have been caught in the web of the world. Thank God Al Gore invented the internet, otherwise I don't know what I would do!

Did I hear you right?

In my house we have a rule. Generally, whoever cooks does not have to clean up. Good rule, works well since I do most of the cooking (by most I mean 99.99999%). I love cooking, hate cleaning up. Well last night I was working on a project* and my husband cooked dinner. Dinner consisted of a hamburger each which I took out of the freezer and he had some leftover baked beans that I microwaved for him. Basically he cooked the meat on the grill. So, I finish eating first which is the norm and get back to my project. About 5 minutes later I hear (brace yourselves) "I'm finished, you may clean up now." I thought for sure he was kidding. I'm not so sure he was. I have decided to give him a pass on this. He was studying for a big test at work that he took this a.m. and I am sure that was the stress talking.

Anyway, he called and he passed the test! So tonight, I will be finished and he may clean up now! Men. Jeez.

*I cannot discuss the project at this time, but will in the future. It's a secret! ;-)

Sensitive? Me?

So, apparently I am a little oversensitive sometimes. My therapist (haven't been in awhile) tells me that I am missing a "filter" that most others have and this contributes to my heightened sensitivy to just about everything from the suffering of other people, even people 100 years ago to the mistreatment of animals, etc. Hell, I am still really pissed off because of the white people's mistreatment of Native Americans. You know, the people who lived here until we came along and fucked with them and nearly drove them to extinction? And trust me, that is just the tip of the iceberg. Don't even get me started on slavery or the the camps that we forced Japanese Americans to live in during WWII. Anyway, it all bothers me and as my husband can attest a goodly amount of times leaves me in tears. I don't know why I am like this, but I can tell you it sucks. Not sure why I am sharing this. Maybe someone is reading this who is the same way and we can commiserate together. Maybe it is just to warn you in case you happen by and catch me on a crying jag because some child in 1945 was murdered by his mom, or something like that.

In honor of Shop Dungarees and Lo Lo Lova. Hang this on the bathroom door! I promise no one will knock or jiggle the handle. 

Here comes the sun......

Holy crap, it has finally arrived. Summer is here! I am so excited. I am so sick of cold and snow and no sun that I totally didn't mind sitting in my sister's house that has no AC for my niece's 5th birthday party yesterday! My sweat was sweating, but I didn't care. I didn't even mind the swampass brewin' in my undies! 92 degrees and I was loving every minute of it! I am sure by July I'll be bitching about the heat cuz that is the kind of ungrateful jerk I am. But for right now, thank you Motha Nature for finally bringin' the sun!

Total bullshit

Is anyone else pissed about the outcome of last night's Hit Me Baby One More Time (http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Hit_Me_Baby/index.shtml)??? I cannot believe Arrested Development won. I was really hoping for Flock of Seagulls although they looked like shit and sounded even worse. Tiffany - is she preggers? Odd choice of outfits. The singer from Loverboy has no neck anymore - holy effing weight gain. Also, I think the guitar player from Loverboy was actually a corpse being maneuvered by levers and pullies. Honestly I thought Ce Ce Peniston was the best - she sounded incredible and looked hot. Arrested Fucking Development. Give me a GD break. I didn't like them in the 80's and I still don't. Plus the guys are like strangely short. The host towered over them. It was rigged and I am NOT happy about it. I'll totally watch it again though.

(SHUDDER)

Jared from Subway has a lazy eye and it really creeps me out.

Stop, thief!

Ubermilf has pointed out that I have been a little lax in posting. Readers, I apologize! With the short work week it has been crazy. I know, no excuse. So, this weekend the hubby and I went to our camper up in Andover, OH. Dave has been camping there since he was a child and we inherited the camper and campsite from his Father. It is the width of a house trailer but half the length. It is actually really, really nice. It is as close to camping as I’ll get (I’m not called Princess for nothing!). There is a master bedroom w/a (we think) queen size bed, a bathroom w/shower, a full kitchen and a family room area. We have all the necessities of camping such as color television and indoor plumbing, a microwave and full refrigerator, stove etc.! Yeah, I can handle it. So, we head up there Friday after work. I am ready to just chill out. It takes maybe an hour total to open up the camper, flush out the water, put all the outdoor furniture out, etc. I figured we’d be sipping beer and building a campfire in no time.

So, we get there. Dave walks up on the deck to unlock the door. Completely unnecessary as someone had already let themselves in. Yep, ladies and gentleman, we were robbed. Burglarized. Traumatized! The phuckers took everything of value. Here is a list of things taken, and it is not complete I’m sure:
T.V.
Boombox radio
Vacuum cleaner
Kitchen garbage can and bathroom garbage can (what the phuck?!)
All of the hand tools in the shed
Chainsaw
Air compressor
CB Radio
Wedges (not golf clubs)
Some other stuff that I don’t even know what it is like a Maddox? You’d have to ask Dave.

Do you think they could steal the piece of shit golf cart that won’t start? Oh hell no!
So, other than feeling completely violated we had a great anniversary weekend. Sunday Dave put a deadbolt on the door so if they want to break in again they’ll have to do it another way. I asked Dave if we could set up a shot gun aimed at the door w/the trigger ready in case they tried to break in again, but of course we would have no way of getting in either.
If the burglars are reading this – eff you. We replaced everything you stole with bigger and better. Shit, I should not have said that as you’ll hit us up again. Dammit.

Oh well, at least we replaced the T.V. and I got to watch Star Wars ALL weekend (we took a DVD player)! I watched all episodes out. Let me tell you that Revenge of the Clones SUCKED hairy ass. Enough with the dumb love story, get back to STAR WARS – you know, pod racing and Death Star destruction. Looking forward to Revenge of the Sith! And I am totally not into girls, but Natalie Portman has a smokin’ hot bod! Bitch.