Mood swing anyone?

It is amazing to me the mood swings I go through in any given day. Hell, any given hour. Sometimes it is a person, sometimes a thought. I’ll start out in a grand mood, on top of the world. Then I’ll remember that I’m 34 years old, no children (of my own) and in a job that really any dumbass could do. That takes the wind right out of my sails. The opposite of that would be when I am in a shitty mood, hating the world and I get to see on of my nieces. The two of them are like little rays of sunshine. Unfortunately I don’t get to see them every day, so usually once I am in a shitty mood it sticks.

Then I think to myself, suck it up. Life could be worse. Inevitably I tell myself to fuck off, if I want to be in a shit mood I’m allowed. So, I’m thinking around noon today I’ll throw myself a pity party should anyone like to join me. No? That’s ok….really only room for one. I believe today we can attribute my foul mood to a couple of things. Got up on time (yay!), left for work on time (yay!) and a fucking accident on the shore way caused me to be 15 minutes late. In the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. But, I have one good nerve left, and my commute is tap dancing all over that bitch.

Been thinking a lot lately about my lack of pregnancy. We have been trying for so long and nothing. Pondering when it will be time for me to throw in the towel on having a baby. This makes me so incredibly sad I feel like the breath is being sucked out of me. I am pretty sure that if I do decide to give up, I will not leave my bed for a month and will become a total recluse (more than normal!) for awhile. Great, can’t wait.

I’m hoping that the mood swing pendulum will be on the upswing after lunch. Right now I’d like to go bury my head in the sand for awhile.