So I don't get spit on....

Jobs I thought would be kick ass when I was a kid and planned to do:

Racecar driver
Hair stylist
Airline stewardess
Truck driver
High school English/German teacher
Housewife/mom
Jet fighter pilot
Barbie
Lawyer (thanks to the glam of LA Law)
Vet

Jobs that I have held pertaining to the above list:
None.

I think I surpassed my goals. I mean, I was a waitress at Ponderosa for Christ’s sake.

Dinner theater

On Tuesday I met my husband, my stepdaughter and granddaughter at Bravo for dinner. Maija slept the entire time. The noise seems to calm her. As we were finishing our meals Jen decided to try and feed her a little. Maija didn't open her eyes or wake up but did start eating.

Jen says, "I think baby's have the instinct that even when they are asleep when something is in their mouth they suck."
I looked at Dave and said "Don't get any ideas about testing that theory when I'm sleeping."

Yeah, perhaps inappropriate dinner conversation, especially in front of Jen, but what are ya gonna do? I made myself blush!

Contains brief nudity

I love nudes of women. Not in a lesbian way. I just think the female form is very interesting to look at. And I love these nudes where women have real women bodies, not stick figure Kate Moss types. A real woman has curves and soft spots. I could, however, do with a little less curve in my belly area.

Day 3

Today is day 3 taking my new medication. So far I feel alright....just really incredibly tired. Also, I keep having sort of more pronounced mood swings. I go from fine to totally irritated in like 2.5 seconds. I sure hope this passes because otherwise I'm better off not on any drugs at all. Also, I could be this cranky because the doctor told me to cut back or cut out caffeine, so this is day 2 of no coffee. Been drinking water all day. I did just have a piece of chocolate so maybe I'll be on an upswing soon.

Having a party at my house on Saturday for Sue's birthday. I'm really looking forward to everyone being over. Jen is even bringing Maija! This will be our grandbaby's first party! Tonight will be filled with cleaning the house and clearing the emptyied water bed out of the spare bedroom to make room for an air mattress or just a pile of blankets!

Who decided that after kindergarten we should not have nap time? They should be strung up by their balls. I need a mat and a blankie now!

Turn your head and cough

I had my first physical ever yesterday. Overall it wasn't too bad, although they did have me get naked for no good reason. Those gowns with the backside open SUCK. You will all be happy to know that I am healthy.......well mostly. After sharing with my doc my stresses, anxieties and the fact that I don't think I deal well, and I am always sad or angry or scared she suggested that I try these little pills that will offer, as she put it, a teflon coating over me so that I can handle my anxieties and stress better. I agreed to try it. Started yesterday. Today I am really tired, but it could be a combination of the pills and I didn't get to bed until close to 11 p.m. last night. In any, case you may want to save that last vent post because when I am normal and well adjusted I may not rant like that. Seriously a little afraid of "losing" myself. Don't want to be numb. We'll see how it goes. I will keep you guys updated. So far, anxiety level ok as I am too tired to be anxious about anything.

Got a tetanus shot yestarday as well. In the right arm. I am right handed. So far hasn't been too bad. It is pretty sore and just feels like someone punched me real good in the arm. Upshot is I'm good for 10 years with that vaccine!

This was my first visit with this doctor and other than making me strip I really liked her. I did not have a PCP and now I do! I have to follow-up in three weeks to see how the happy pills are working.

I hope I don't lose the desire to punch people in the asshole when they piss me off.

The need to vent.

You know how when you were in school there was always a bully? Always someone around who had to pick on someone to make themselves feel better? Everyone felt like they had to walk on egg shells around this person or they may lose it. Know what? Fuck that. Most of the people, actually all of the people I don't like, I would say are classified as bullies.

So, open letter to the bully-people I don't like, and there are a few!

Dear Jerkface.
You are a cock-sucking, mother-phucking, little beyotch!
I don't like you. In fact, I never really have. I tolerated you. I put on a happy face so that you wouldn't know. Guess what? No more happy fucking face for you. You seem to thrive on making others miserable. You are so immature that you should go back to grade school. Things could have been so much better. There could have been a happy ending. Too bad you are so stupid that you shit all over that rainbow.

Now a warning to these people. If you ever hurt anyone I love, I will hunt you down and kill you. If I can't do it, I will find someone who can.

This post is also directed to the goddamn morons who don't know how to drive a mother fucking car. I should run you over, but I don't want to scratch my car. Why don't you do the world a favor and go fuck yourself?

Hugs and kisses,
Mel

It’s that time again.

Let’s play “What time of the Month is it?”

Here are your clues.

Last week I was crying over stupid shit
Last week I craved salt and sugar
This weekend I ate like I had 4 stomachs
This week I am extremely tired and broken out like a teenager
I am retaining so much water that I may need to build a bridge over my ass
I could snap without notice and squash you like a bug.
I tried 3 outfits on this morning before finding one that really accentuated my recently acquired fatty tissue. And silly me thought my fat roll was plenty big already!
My boobs are busting out of their bra, and not in the good way.

Oh, and as far as that picture above. Those categories are shit. The new categories are:

1. Women who go from hugging to bag-tagging

2. Pass me the fucking chocolate

3. Stop whining for dinner, I have cramps

4. No, wet dreams are not the same as PMS you dumbass

and finally

5. This almost makes me look forward to menopause.


30 seconds on the clock. Let’s see what you bitches got.

Get ready for something brilliant

POOP



In my defense, I did not say it would be here. More later.

I am on a roll....

*editor's note. Picture removed because it was slowing down my blog. DO NOT slow me down mother bitch picture!*


In honor of my friends getting old(er) I have decided to post a warning, um, film? Careful lest this happens to you!!!!! This was probably after a long night of drinking!!!!

Ode to Rachel

Sorry this is a day late. I haven't had any time to post. Stupid work.
Anyway, yesterday was my good friend Rachel's birthday. We celebrated at the Sand Bar where apparently Rach's tongue got stuck.......somewhere. It was a great time, though I left before the wildness really commenced.

Here is what happened yesterday in history on the day that Rachel was born.
On this day...
608 St Boniface IV begins his reign as Catholic Pope 1620 Mayflower departs from Plymouth, England with 102 pilgrims 1776 British forces capture Kip's Bay Manhattan during the Revolution 1789 Dept of Foreign Affairs, renamed the Dept of State 1821 Costa Rica El Salvador Guatemala Honduras & Nicaragua gain independ 1830 1st to be run-over by a railroad train (William Huskisson, England) 1853 1st US woman ordained a minister, Antoinette Blackwell 1862 Stonewall Jackson takes Harpers Ferry 1887 Phila celebrates 100th anniversary of US Constitution 1894 Japan defeats China in Battle of Ping Yang 1898 National Afro-American Council forms in Rochester NY 1904 Wilbur Wright makes his 1st airplane flight 1912 Red Sox pitcher Joe Wood ties then record of 16 straight wins 1913 1st US milch goat show held, Rochester, NY 1914 Battle of Aisne begins between Germans & French during WW I 1915 Boston Braves beat St Louis Cards 20-1 1916 1st tank used in war, "Little Willies" at Battle of Flors, France 1917 Russia proclaimed a republic by Alexander Kerensky 1921 WBZ-AM in Boston MA begins radio transmissions 1928 Cards set NL record of 18 men left on base beating Phillies 8-6 1930 1st intl bridge match is held in London. US team defeats England 1931 British naval force mutinies at Invergordon over pay 1935 Nuremberg Laws deprive German Jews of citizenship & makes the swastika the official symbol of Nazi Germany 1937 WPA extends the L-Taraval streetcar to the SF Zoo (at Sloat Blvd) 1938 British PM Chamberlain visits Hitler at Berchtesgarden 1938 John Cobb sets world auto speed record at 350.2 MPH (lasts 1 day) 1938 Only time brothers hit back-to-back HRs (Lloyd & Paul Waner, Pitts) 1940 3rd American Football League plays 1st game (Milw 14, Columbus 2) 1940 Chicago Tribune sponsors Ted Lyons Day (White Sox pitcher) 1940 Tide turns in Battle of Britain in WW II, RAF beats Luftwaffe 1941 Nazis kill 800 Jewish women at Shkudvil Lithuania 1946 Dodgers beat Cubs 2-0 in 5 inns, games called because of gnats 1947 1st 4 engine jet propelled fighter plane tested, Columbus, Oh 1947 Yanks clinch pennant #15 1948 F-86 Sabre sets world aircraft speed record of 1080 kph 1948 WHN-AM in New York City changes call letters to WMGM 1949 The Lone Ranger premiers on ABC-TV 1950 During Korean conflict, UN forces land at Inchon in the south 1950 Longest game in Phila's Shribe Park, Phils beat Reds 8-7 in 19 1950 Yankee Johnny Mize hits 3 homers (6th time he has done that) 1952 UN turns over Eritrea to Ethiopia 1953 Boxing's NBA adopts 10-pt-must-scoring-system (10 pts to round winner) 1957 "Bachelor Father" with John Forsythe premiers 1957 SF Seals (Pacific Coast League) play their last game 1958 48 die in a train crash in Elizabethport NJ 1958 Commuter train crashes through drawbridge, killing 48 (Newark NJ) 1959 Soviet Premier Khrushchev arrives in US to begin a 13-day visit 1961 Hurricane Carla strikes Texas with winds of 175 mph 1962 Australia's 1st entry in America's Cup yacht race (US wins) 1962 KC A's Bill Fischer sets record of 69 1/3 innings without a walk 1963 4 children killed in bombing of a black Baptist church in Birmingham 1963 SF Giants play outfield of Felipe, Matty & Jesus Alou 1965 "Lost in Space" premiers 1966 Gemini XI returns to Earth 1968 "Barbra Streisand: A Happening in Central Park" Show on CBS TV 1968 Launch of Zond 5, the 1st lunar flyaround with Earth reentry. Probable test flight for a manned fly-around (scooped by Apollo 8) 1969 Phillies Steve Carlton sets record by stiking out 19 NY Mets in a game 1970 Decca awards Bing Crosby a 2nd platinum disc for selling 300 million 1973 "Star Trek-Animated" premiers on TV 1976 Soyuz 22 carries 2 cosmonauts into Earth orbit for 8 days 1978 Muhammad Ali beats WBA heavyweight champion Leon Spinks 1978 Yanks beat Boston 4-0, Guidry wins # 22, Yanks lead 2« games 1979 Red Sox Bob Watson is 1st to hit for the cycle in AL & NL (Astros) 1980 Paul McCartney releases "Temporary Secretary" 1981 US Senate Judiciary Committee unanimously approves Sandra Day O'Connor 1982 1st issue of "USA Today" published by Gannett Co Inc 1982 Israeli forces began pouring into west Beirut 1984 Morocco Showcase opens 1985 European team beats US team for golf's Ryders Cup (1st since 1957) 1988 Lillehammer, Norway upsets Anchorage to host 1994 Winter olympics 1990 Florida lottery goes over $100,000,000 1990 France announce it will send 4,000 troops to the Persian Gulf 1991 "The Party Machine with Nia Peeples" final show 1991 NBA star Magic Johnson marries Earletha "Cookie" Kelly 1991 SD State freshman Marshall Faulk sets NCAA rushing record of 386 yds

Born on this day:
53 Trajan 13th Roman emperor (98-117), conqueror of Ctesiphon
1613 Francois duc de la Rochefoucald Paris France, writer (Memoires)
1789 James Fenimore Cooper 1st major American novelist (Prairie)
1830 Porfirio D¡az soldier, president of Mexico (1877-1911)
1857 William Howard Taft Cin, (R) 27th pres (1909-13), chief justice
1876 Bruno Walter (B.W. Schlesinger), Berlin Germany, conductor (NY Phil)
1876 Frank E Gannett Rochester, newspaper publisher (Gannett)
1881 Ettore Arco Isidoro Bugatti Milan, race car builder (Amaz Bugattis)
1889 Robert Benchley author (My 10 Years in a Quandary)
1890 Dame Agatha Christie mystery writer (Murder on the Orient Express)
1890 Frank Martin Geneva Switzerland, composer (In Terra Fax)
1894 Jean Renoir cin‚aste (Grand Illusion)
1899 Milton S Eisenhower Dwight's brother/Pennsylvania State president
19-- Francine Tacker Flushing NY, actress (Elizabeth-Paper Chase, Dallas)
1903 Roy Acuff Maynardville Tenn, country musician (Hee Haw)
1904 Tom Conway Russia, actor (Mark Saber, Betty Hutton Show)
1904 Umberto II king of Italy (1946)
1906 Kathryn Murray Jersey City NJ, dancer (Arthur Murray Dance Party)
1906 Penny Singleton Phila Pa, voice (Jane Jetsons)/actress (Blondie)
1907 Fay Wray Alberta, actress (King Kong)
1907 Jack Bailey Hampton Iowa, TV host (Queen for a Day)
1913 Henry Dreyfus Brant Montreal Canada, composer (Great American Goot)
1913 John Mitchell Nixon's attorney general who went to jail
1914 Creighton Abrams US, army general (Vietnam War)
1915 John Conte Plamer Mass, actor (Mantovani)
1916 Margaret Lockwood actress (Lady Vanishes)
1921 Jackie Cooper LA Calif, actor/director (Hennesey, People's Choice)
1924 Bobby Short singer/pianist (Carlisle Hotel)
1925 Forrest Compton Reading Pa, actor (Gomer Pyle USMC, Edge of Night)
1927 Norm Crosby Boston Mass, comedian/double talker (Liar's Club)
1928 Cannonball Adderley singer (Black Messiah, Beginnings)
1929 Murray Gell-Mann physicist who predicted quarks
1933 Henry Darrow NYC, actor (Harry O, New Dick Van Dyke Show)
1933 Rafael Frbeck de Burgos Burgos, Spain, conductor (World of Song)
1938 Gaylord Perry baseball player (1972 AL Cy Young winner)
1940 Merlin Olsen UT, NFL tackle (Rams)/sportscaster/actor (Father Murphy)
1941 Miroslaw Hermaszewski 1st Polish space traveler (Soyuz 30)
1946 Oliver Stone NYC, director (Wall St, Good Morning Vietnam, Platoon)
1946 Tommy Lee Jones actor (Executioner's Song, Bloody Monday)
1953 Jerry Page golfer (largest PGA victory margin)
1956 Jaki Graham British personality
1956 Tawny Schneider Portland Me, newscaster (Eye on Hollywood)
1960 Scott Thompson Baker Minneapolis, actor (Gen Hosp, All My Children)
1961 Dan Marino NFL quarterback (Miami Dolphins)
1962 Wendie Jo Sperber Glendale Calif, actress (Amy-Bossom Buddies)
1967 Jerry Dixon heavy metal bassist (Warrant-Cherry Pie)
1968 Danny Nucci actor (Gabriel Ortega-Falcon Crest)
1984 Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, 3rd in British sucession

The thought for the day:
Thought for the day :" Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate. "

Happy Birthday, Ubermilf!

Today in history Ubermilf was born (check out the awesome cake her hubby made for her!). Let's see what else happened.....
MAYFLOWER DEPARTS ENGLAND:September 16, 1620
On Sept. 16, 1919, the American Legion was incorporated by an act of Congress.
On this date:
In 1638, France's King Louis XIV was born.
In 1810, Mexico began its revolt against Spanish rule.
In 1893, hundreds of thousands of settlers swarmed onto a section of land in Oklahoma known as the "Cherokee Strip."
In 1940, President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft in U.S. history.
In 1940, Samuel T. Rayburn of Texas was elected Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.
In 1953, "The Robe," the first movie presented in the widescreen process CinemaScope, had its world premiere at the Roxy Theater in New York.
In 1965, "The Dean Martin Show" premiered on NBC.
In 1974, President Ford announced a conditional amnesty program for Vietnam war deserters and draft-evaders.
In 1977, Maria Callas, the American-born prima donna famed for her lyric soprano and fiery temperament, died in Paris at age 53.
In 1982, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian men, women and children by Lebanese Christian militiamen began in west Beirut's Sabra and Chatilla refugee camps.
Ten years ago: President Clinton voiced support for a Senate welfare overhaul plan sponsored by Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole. Shawntel Smith of Oklahoma was crowned "Miss America" at the pageant in Atlantic City, N.J.
Five years ago: Campaign aides for Democrat Al Gore and Republican George W. Bush agreed on a series of three debates. American Nancy Johnson captured the first gold medal of the Sydney Olympics, winning the women's 10-meter air rifle.
One year ago: Hurricane Ivan plowed into the Gulf Coast with 130 mph wind and a major storm surge; all told, Ivan was blamed for at least 115 deaths, 43 in the U.S. The number of foreigners kidnapped during the Iraq insurgency reached at least 100. The National Hockey League lockout went into effect.

Today's Birthdays: Actress Janis Paige is 83. Actress Lauren Bacall is 81. Blues singer B.B. King is 80. Clergyman-author Rev. Robert H. Schuller is 79. Actor Peter Falk is 78. Actress Linda Miller is 63. Rhythm-and-blues singer Betty Kelly (Martha & the Vandellas) is 61. Musician Kenny Jones (Small Faces; Faces; The Who) is 57. Actress Susan Ruttan is 57. Actor Ed Begley Jr. is 56. Country singer David Bellamy (The Bellamy Brothers) is 55. Country singer-songwriter Phil Lee is 54. Rock musician Ron Blair (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers) is 53. Jazz musician Earl Klugh is 52. Singer Frank Reed (The Chi-Lites) is 51. TV personality Mark McEwen is 51. Actor Mickey Rourke is 49. Magician David Copperfield is 49. Country singer-songwriter Terry McBride is 47. Actress Jennifer Tilly is 47. Actress Jayne Brook is 43. Singer Richard Marx is 42. Comedian Molly Shannon is 41. Singer Marc Anthony is 36. Singer Musiq is 28. Actress Alexis Bledel is 24. Actress Madeline Zima is 20. Actress Kyla Pratt is 19.
Thought for Today: "Everything will change. The only question is growing up or decaying." -- Nikki Giovanni, American author and poet.

Get a little wild....

Yeah, the subject of my previous post was boring, useless and probably not very productive. I have decided to post something brilliant. As such, look what I bought! Don't be jealous, I will let you touch it. Maybe. If you wash your hands. Unless you smell of cabbage, then forget it.

I don't know if you are ready for this......

The past few weeks have been shit. Not complete shit because some great things happened such as my Granddaughter Maija being born.

Work has sucked. I’m not sure if I am just getting burned out since I have been doing this for 5+ years and dealing with sick, older patients can really be draining, or if I simply need a vacation. Things that don’t normally bother me are making me crazy. Every time the phone rings it is like nails on a chalkboard. As some of you know, I stupidly agreed to work for another doc bringing me to two total. It has become very, very hectic. I am used to a very busy office, but lately I just want to stand in front of a semi.

Yesterday it all came to a head. I was having a particularly difficult day. Every three seconds someone was calling with an issue. Then, it all hit the fan.

My doctor was in his office making phone calls. Another doctor from here, we’ll call him Dr. Dickhead, called and wanted to speak with Dr. Pepper (remember, name changed to protect the innocent). I advised Dr. Dickhead that Dr. Pepper was on the phone but would call him back as soon as he was done. Would Dr. Dickhead like me to page him or call his office when Dr. Pepper available? He asked me to call him in his office. My doc gets off phone and I pass on message. He says ok to get Dr. Dickhead on the phone. I proceed to call Dr. Dickhead’s office and his stupid whore of a secretary tells me he’s not in there, to page him. I say, ok that’s odd he said to call him in his office and it has only been about a minute, but whatever. So, I page Dr. Dickhead. In the meantime, Dr. Pepper gets another call. Dr. Dickhead calls back. I tell him that Dr. Pepper got another call and it should just be a second. Then the screaming began. Dr. Dickhead “I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HIM.” Me to Dr. D “I called you and your secretary said you weren’t there. So then I paged you………(trying to say in the meantime someone else called him)” Dr. Dickhead to me “AND I CALLED BACK.” Me to him (in my mind) OBVIOUSLY NOT FAST ENOUGH YOU COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD. Me to him in real life “I’m really sorry, I’ll have him call you again.” There was more of him yelling at me and then the call ended. I then proceed to start leaking at the eyes.

I have dealt with this Doctor before. He is always very rude, very abrupt and a general jerk. I know this. Yesterday it was just the icing on the cake.

So, my doctor gets off the phone. I page Dr. Dickhead. Before Dr. Pepper picks up the phone I tell him “you may want to ask him not to scream at me again. That would be great.” While saying this my voice takes on that I’m going to lose it RIGHT NOW quality. I basically run away from my desk to the ladies room where the eye leaking continues. Luckily one of my coworkers comes and finds me and takes me on a 15 minute walk which really helped.

Fast forward to about 8:30 or so last night. I am home and remember that I need to look for a copy of my auto insurance because somehow I don’t have my copy in my car. Would suck if I get pulled over as it is a state law to have proof of insurance. I go in the downstairs bedroom closet. IT STINKS. I start moving stuff and I see mildew on the door to the crawlspace. I immediately call Dave, who is pissed at me because I am in such a foul mood due to my lovely day/weeks at work. Dave comes down and takes the door off. Paper stuff right inside the door is ruined. He then starts pulling up carpet in the closet. It is all soaked and mildewy. No idea what the fuck is going on. There is a water line in the crawl space behind the closet, but that isn’t wet. Dave thinks it might be the outside spigot somehow leaking into the house. Just wonderful. Just fucking wonderful. The house must know we are trying to sell it. It is turning into the money pit. Spent over $300 last week to get the septic pumped. Can’t wait to see what this costs us.

I decided then that I just needed to go to bed.

Woke up this a.m. felt somewhat rested thanks to my good friend ambien. Felt pretty ok all morning until I drove to work. Fucking traffic. I really don’t know how much longer I can take this hour + commute. When I move it will be just as bad – still an hour just from another direction. I think I need to find a new, less stressful job closer to home maybe in the basket weaving industry.

My face is breaking out like a teenage boys and this is all stress related. Thanks stress, you bitch.

I hope everything works out in the end and we sell our house and without that stress I’ll be able to handle the stress of work a little bit better like I used to. Until then, guess I’ll keep a supply of Kleenex, and ambien!

OK, pity party over…..for now.

Ubie Meme-tagged me......here goes

Probably not as painful as getting bag-tagged, but I guess I wouldn't really know!


7 Things I Plan to do Before I Die:
1. Have a baby
2. Get over my fear of everything
3. Watch Super Troopers until the very end.
4. Travel to Italy, Germany, Switzerland
5. Find a four leaf clover
6. Go to Graceland
7. Go to Heinz Field for a Steeler’s game


7 Things I Can Do:
1. Bowl
2. Make a mean spinach artichoke dip
3. Love my friends and family
4. Make people laugh
5. Fold laundry, unfortunately
6. Play volleyball
7. Somehow manage to refrain from acting on the road rage which consumes me daily

7 Things I Cannot Do:
1. Golf
2. Pee standing up (I’ve tried people, I can’t)
3. Make fire without a lighter or matches
4. Rebuild a transmission or even change my own oil
5. Open some jars
6. A back flip or hand stand
7. Jump serve in volleyball

7 Things That Attract me to the Opposite (or same) Sex:
1. Sense of humor
2. Eyes
3. Smile
4. Intelligence
5. Kindness
6. Generosity
7. Work ethic

7 Things That I Say Most Often:
1. Mother of God
2. Whatever
3. Love you, mean it
4. WTF?
5. Sophie, knock it off
6. I’ll have a Miller Lite
7. I don’t want to go to work!

7 Celebrity Crushes:
1. Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black
2. Vince Vaughn
3. Dave Matthews
4. Denzel Washington
5. Hugh Jackman
6. Johnny Depp
7. Jude Law

7 People I Want To Do This:
1. Nancy (Lazy Wanker)
2. Brian (Stork Site)
3. John (Shop Dungarees)
4. Sue Z Q – you can do in my comment section!
5. Rachel – you can do in my comment section!
6. Lindsay (Not Buckingham)
7. My hubby Dave – in comment section

TGIF sucks my balls

Sorry there was no new, better post today. I have been busier than a kleenex in a snot factory. Busier than a one armed man in a nose picking factory. Busier than a whore at an accountant convention. Busier than a toothless woman in a blow job contest. You get the idea. I'll work on a post this weekend.

Only an hour till Miller Time!!!!!

Dubya with Bush Sr on recent vacation

This is so bad, yet so believable. Can't you just picture these ass clowns doing this?

I mean no disrespect to the hurricane survivors, just poking fun at our idiot of a "leader."

Better post this afternoon.

Posers

I probably should remove all of my pictures until I figure out the intentions of one reader who I think called me ugly and put a horse behind me. Anyway, here is another picture of us from Friday night. This was probably a 12 pack in. Thanks to Rick for sending the pic! Not a very flattering picture of me....honestly my belly is not that poofy - the dress was hanging (I think!), but Kelly and Sue look awesome!

Should have some great pictures from this weekend as Rachel is having a party on Saturday! Can't wait to see her new bar.....will definitely have pictures of that either on mine, Nan's or Brian's blog. We will definitely be in the hot tub, and playing lots of yard games.

I think I may have another post in me later (been eatin' my bran!) about mean people and the many reasons I hate them. We'll see!

P.S. sending wasrm birthday wishes out to Brooke Rose today! Have a great one, you deserve it. :-)

A 3 hour tour

Friday night we went on the Holiday.....a 60 foot or so boat that cruises around Cleveland. It was our friend Margie's suprise 40th birthday party. I was pretty nervous as I do not like boats. Ended up having a really great time. There are more pics and I'll post 'em when I have 'em, but for now here is a pic of the ladies. I'm on the left, Kelly is in the middle and Sue is on the right. Big thanks to Sue who loaned me a dress to wear. When I arrived at the Stork Nest I discovered that Sue looked like a glamorous model and I was totally underdressed in my green capri pants and black tank top. Sue wasted no time in loaning me something to wear so that I would feel more comfortable.

Got lost looking for a bar called Rockabilly's after the boat and ended up at the Flat Iron. It was a ton of fun - Irish folk singer who I think was more drunk than us, which was quite impressive given that we drank about a keg between maybe 6 of us. I believe I had a battle with hiccups there, and I won. I beat their ass. Then for some reason we thought it was a good idea to hit Howl at the Moon for last call. Bought a giant beer so Margie could have the bottle. Good times!

Must have been good as it took me literally all day Saturday to recover.

Sunday we had a party at Chrissy's house and from what I remember it was a lot of fun. I may or may not have been sort of mean to her neighbor, but in my defense he was weird and I was a wee bit tipsy. Apparently I was twirling. I am sticking with if I don't remember, it didn't happen. In which case a lot of Friday night and a lot of Sunday night just didn't happen.

Felt pretty shitty yesterday - really tired. Had to go to a family cookout. That was painful on many levels. My poor niece Julia took a frisbee to the lip and today is her Kindergarten picture day. Oy.

Some things I learned this weekend.
The river in Cleveland is still really dirty and smells like stinky fish
Melanie + 14 beers = still not a good dancer or singer
The new Dave Matthews Band CD fucking rocks
I like sitting on Sue's lap in the back seat of Dave's pimpmobile
I suck at cornhole, whether drunk or sober
I am not that great at ball flinger either
I am physically able to stay in bed for almost 48 straight hours. Ask Dave. I did it.
Forrest Gump is a really long movie

Show me your O face!

I will write a new post soon. In the meantime, check this out. It is pretty friggin' cool.

Baby Announcement

Maija Marie was born yesterday! She is gorgeous. She weighed in at 7.9 lbs and is 20.5 inches long. She is absolutely perfect! More pictures will follow as I receive them.

She did have a really long pinky nail on her left hand so she may be gangsta!

Jen is doing really well and resting comfortably. We went to visit them yesterday at the hospital. It was a little crowded in the room and difficult to really have any time with Maija or Jen and left pretty bummed out. I just have to keep reminding myself that we'll have plenty of time together when she is home. Sometimes being the second wife, stepmom, stepgrandma sucks cuz you sort of get pushed to the back. Yeah, I threw myself a little pity party but I'm getting over myself! I have awesome friends and family who cheered me up at dinner at Don Pablos. Didn't make it to Cold Stone Creamery as I was pretty tired and just wanted to go home and chill for a little bit!

Tonight I have to go on a boat so I will likely be drinking heavily in order to get my scaredy cat ass on the boat. This should be interesting.

I'm old, but not THAT old!

Today is the day I become a Grandmother. Holy shit! I'm not even a Mom yet, and now I am going to be a Grandmother. I'm not bothered by it as I am still pretty young. My hubby is the elder in this relationship and he's so going to be a Grandfather!!! Feel old, honey?

Jen was to report at the hospital at 6 a.m. to be induced. Unfortunately I have to work today so I can't go to the hospital until after work, but her Mom and the father of the baby are with her, and probably her grandparents so she will be well taken care of. Hopefully, for Jen's sake, she goes fast and when I get out of work I'll get to go see my new grandbaby! I'll let you all know whether we have a boy or a girl (come on girl!). In any case, the whole gang is meeting tonight and we are having Don Pablos for dinner and then going to Cold Stone Creamery for some yummy ice cream!

Random stuff.

I heard this song today and it still rocks! These guys aren't that great in concert though.

Lo Lo thinks someone peed in her coffee and asked me to taste it to confirm. I did. No pee.

My back hurts. It has hurt chronically on the lower right side for over a month. I may need a kidney transplant.

Met with our builder yesterday and they are set to break ground next week. Hell yeah! Should be ready for a house warming party by the end of December.....maybe New Year's Eve!