psycho much?

Thursday is so Must See TV again. The Office, Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy were freakin' awesome last night. Needless to say, I'm tired of ending every episode of Grey's with me in tears. Enough already.

So, you know how I'm kind of a freak and afraid of everything? No? Ok, well I am. I thought maybe if I explained some of the fears/anxieties you may understand better.

1. Elevators
The anxiety about elevators is two-fold. Firstly, it is a very small space and I'm usually plastered up against the back wall because too many people have shoved in. So I got the claustraphobia thing going. Secondly, the elevator is basically held up by a cable. A cable, people, that could snap and send us plummeting to our death. Seriously. It has happened. Obviously not to me personally, but it has happened in the history of the world.
Unfortunately I have bad knees and feet which sucks the hairy brown eye and so sometimes at the end of the day I need a ride on the lift to get up to my car in the parking garage. I wish I could put into words the anxiety I feel. It is sort of a feeling that I'm going to die, seriously that is how I feel. There is a hotel here at work and that elevator is even worse. It moves fast and you can feel it and it dumps you out in this huge crowded lobby which heightens my anxiety. Ugh. It is awful.
2. Flying
Holy hell, this is probably the worst. I love to travel, see places, vacation but I hate flying so much that I cannot get excited about making vacation plans. And this is getting worse as I get older and as I see more horrible things happening in the world. When Dave, or anyone, starts talking about flying off to Italy I immediately get sweaty and dizzy and my heart starts racing and I have to walk away or make them stop talking about it. Told you I was a freak. So, up until this point I have been able to overcome this fear and fly. I hope I can continue to do that as I really do want to see loads more places.

Really this could go on forever, but we'll start with those two things. I won't bring up right now how I only feel safe at work within my department, mostly at my desk. I hate walking the skyways as the pillars that they are on could get hit by a car and I'd go smashing to the ground. Also they have access panels in the floor that I avoid like the plague because one could open as I walk over it and send me smashing to the ground. I hate the cafeteria because it is so crowded and chaotic and just doesn't feel safe to me. I rarely if ever go there alone and many times you can here me utter to my friends to "get me out of here."

Maybe some images to help explain how I see the world compared to how you see the world.

Normal person:

Here is how everything feels to me...chaotic and dangerous.