TGIF my ass.

Holy shit people. Today sucked so much that I can't even put into words how badly it sucked. Let's recap, shall we.

Woke up oh about an hour late. Rushed around to get ready and get out the door. Already starting behind the 8 ball. Got to work about 40 minutes late. Great.

I immediately am slammed at work. Patients calling every 5 seconds. Shit to finish from yesterday. Blah. Plus three people waiting to be seen.

I walk down the hall to drop something off at someone else's desk and am called over by two other secretaries....of whom I am the work leader and whenever there is any sort of problem I get "Hey work leader, this is a problem for you." Great.

They begin to tell me that they simply cannot keep covering the two other offices where we have new secretaries who have been in training all week. Basically, hey bitch dole out the work. Fair enough. I say I will take the majority of it as I know that every other secretary is slammed today. Whatever. I am never one to shy away from taking it up the ass for the team.

I do send out a group email asking for volunteers to help shoulder some of the work. I get three responses. Three out of ten. Ok. (Of course Lo Lo was one of the volunteers - thanks babe)

So, we are working away really making progress. I then get my ass chewed out by one of the nurses who is going on vacation and by us catching up said office, she is being blown away. Ok, so? If you don't get all the work done, the person covering you while you are out will work on it. Well, she is the fucking anal type that won't leave anything in her office. Also, I get the "That's great that everyone is helping R catch up, but no one is helping me. And, this is generating mass phone calls to me for help." I later learn that the "mass phone calls" is like two. Literally.

I swear to God I almost punched her in her baby maker.

The day continues in this manner. At noon I am suggesting to a couple of the other ladies that we blow off work and head to the bar. Is that bad?

Even Lo Lo said that she was having a beer after work. Shit people, do you know how big that is? The girl NEVER drinks. Ever.

I never even got to eat lunch. Had a fat free yogurt at some point. And coffee.

Two good things happened today. I had a good hair day, and I didn't die. Of course, the day isn't over yet.

I've been home for roughly 1/2 hour and the first glass of Chardonnay is but a memory. I suspect soon the entire bottle will be a warm fuzzy memory. Do NOT underestimate the healing powers of the grape.

****UPDATE*****

I'm sitting on the deck drinking my wine and IM'ing with Nick and a FUCKING BIRD SHAT ON MY HAND. Splattered all over my computer screen. Also, I screamed like a girl so I'm sure the neighbors love me! Great. My day is now complete. Actually, it isn't. Hopefully I'll be bit by a snake and receive an atomic wedgie from some drunk stupid frat boy. THEN it will be complete.

Seriously people, I am not making this up.

Inside me

Yesterday I was driving home and there was a white van in front of me. As it turned I read what it said on the side. "People touching people." It was a school van. I really don't think that is a good logo for them. It was a Catholic school van. I REALLY don't think that is a good logo for them.

As I was walking to my car today I started worrying what I would do if my keyless remote battery suddenly died. Clearly I am being irresponsible not carrying a spare battery. How would I get in my car? After all, I don't have AAA. Then I realized I still have the actual key. I'm an idiot.

My neighbors are stressing me out. I had a talking to about being loud on our deck. Mind you this was after a Saturday night of three of us (David, Rachel and me) sitting on the deck talking well after midnight. Talking. So now every time we are out on our deck that we spent 3 kidneys and some bone marrow to purchase, I am afraid to sit on it. Dammit.

Due to some small weight gain and gravity, none of my bras fit me. I hate the spillover - girls you know what I'm talking about, and so do some of you boys who wear a size too small cup. I think I am going to actually go somewhere and get measured. Oy.

I have to get up at 5 a.m. It is now almost 11 p.m. and I am not at all tired. This sucks.

somebody's got a bad case of the Muhnday's...

Not bad for a Monday. I’m sitting at work, listening to the best rock and roll band EVER. Led Zeppelin. Right now we have Houses of the Holy and Presence is next. Going to be a great day.

Friday I had volleyball. I had some great moments and some absolute shit moments. We lost all three. That part sucked the worst. Thing is, we were way better than the other team but we ended up playing down to their level. By the way, our team name is Hot Dogs and Tacos.

Friday after volleyball I coerced Sue, Brian, Seth and Carly into coming out to Stow for the night under the guise of seeing the new deck. Really I just missed them and wanted to hang out! It was a great time. We consumed a lot of wine, Pina Colada (which Carly ended up voiding orally at around 4:30 a.m. – like how I churched up puking, Carly?) and some kick as dip that Sue brought. I got the hummus!

Saturday I was supposed to get my oil changed but I 1) forgot and 2) didn’t feel like it. I laid around most of the day. Finally I hit the shower because I had to head out to Linday’s for her second bachelorette party. It was a sex toy party (I blushed typing that). You can go to www.pureromance.com and check it out. It was interesting and we laughed a lot! Sorry Dave – no sex swing – they were just too expensive.

Sunday my family came out for a cookout. We had Mom, Jen, Marc, Sarah, Ryan, Julia, Jacob, Morgan, Jeanne, Jimmy, Ryan, Aunt Jean, Dave and me. A house full! It was great. We grilled hot dogs/burgers and had lots of sides. Seriously, you guys should have come over.

Alright, back to my Zeppelin and work. Have an awesome day, internet people.

We're havin' a cookout. Come on over!

Miss me? I did, sort of.

I'm back bitches! Sorry I've been away so long. Been very busy with work, home, underwear modeling.....you understand.

As I mentioned in my last post, Tammy had her baby. Her name is Gianna and she is perfect. I'm hoping to get over to the house very soon so that she gets to know her second Mom!

In other news, I am officially of anti-anxiety meds. Now that I'm thinking "clearly" I can tell you that yes, I am still uber sensitive and emotional. Apparently that didn't go away. I find myself on the verge of tears constantly - and not just from sad stuff. It is like all the emotion that the meds blocked have been saved up in my brain somewhere and are flooding in on me. It's ok though, at least I know I'm still alive.

I've been thinking a lot about mortality. Yeah, it sucks. Maybe it is because at work our patients are mostly old, very sick and clinging to life by a thread. Some day that will be me. Maybe Billy Joel was right when he said only the good die young. I don't know about good, but it would be better than suffering like these poor people. Of course I have no desire to die, absolutely none. I would miss too much stuff here. I mean, I know heaven will be awesome, but do they have NPR up there? I seriously doubt the Catholics would allow it.

The thing about our patients is that half the time we can't even talk to them directly. They are hard of hearing, or deaf, or suffering from dimentia, or just so overwhelmed that they shut down. So we end up talking to their spouse, or their kids, or grandkids. It hits me hard because that could be me. The family members are often times my age. I guess I can see my future in them when God forbid I have to make plans for one of my parents to undergo open heart surgery.

And I'm just in the office. I can't imagine being one of the nurses, doctors, etc. taking care of these poor people in the hospital.

Maybe a career change is in order. Maybe go to the other end of the spectrum and work with newborns or something. It would have to be healthy newborns because I think even more of me would die everyday if I had to deal with sick children. Nothing sadder than that.

Also, I've been thinking a lot about my relationships with other people. Sometimes I feel like I should just lock myself away and not inflict me on anyone else! I don't think I'm mean or ultra needy, but I don't always feel like being happy and making conversation. Sometimes it feels too much like work. On those days, or sometimes weeks/months, I just hide out at home. Not sure if anyone else understands it, but that's just me.

You know what sucks? Having to socialize during one of my oversensitive moments. I feel like such a complete idiot. Like nothing I say is right. Like people are just enduring me and not really enjoying my company. Like when I'm not looking they are rolling their eyes and wishing they could trim the fat and be rid of me.

I would say I feel confident and normal (whatever the hell that is) about 3 days a month. Hopefully those are days I have something social planned. Otherwise I'll be the asshole in the corner drinking too much and just counting the minutes until I can go hide in my closet.

Aren't ya glad I posted? Yeah, me neither. But thanks for enduring it.

We're having a baby..a real baby this time.

***UPDATE***
Baby girl was born last night at 8:44 p.m. She weighed in at a healthy 6 lbs., 10.4 oz and is 19.5 inches long! Mom is doing great, but still struggling with a name. I should have pics in a bit, and hopefully a name soon! Until then, I'm just calling her Bella because she is so beautiful!


My best friend Tammy is having her baby today! She was scheduled for a C-section next Monday. Well, at her appointment today her blood pressure was too high and she was sent to the hospital for a baby monitor check. Well, she failed her non-stress test and so is having our little baby girl tonight, as soon as her fiance gets here.

I will keep you all posted. Say all your prayers for our Mom and baby, and family.

XOXO

New edition

Hello all, let's all congratulate Lo Lo....here is the email I just received from her.

From Lo Lo to Mel:
"Congratulate me! I just gave birth to Jackson's baby brother: TURD FERGUSON LOVA
Turd was born at 1:31pm on July 7, 2006. He weighed in at a whopping 3 pounds, 4 ounces.
Someone has been called to sew me up. I'm hurtin over here.
He'll be in the Fecal Nursery soon, if you'd like to go have a look-see.
John's going to be PISSED when he sees little Turd. [he's not white]"

Lay laid to rest.....

I just read this story. He was awaiting sentencing and the article discussed this fact. Is it bad that my first thought after reading about his death is that phew, he dodged that sentencing bullet.

Happy day? Yeah, happy day.....here.

I'm sitting on my deck. I hear grand fireworks all around me. Must be a community celebrating early. I even think I hear cheering. Ah, nostalgia. Then I begin to think, this is what people going through war must hear. The sounds from a distance, and even some up close, must be the same. It sounds like bombing and gunfire. Luckily I know in my brain that it is merely a celebration. But I feel empathy for those who live every day with these sounds and don't feel safe, and know that is no celebration they are hearing. They are hearing the sounds of death. It makes me sad.

I am proud of my country and thrilled to celebrate it's birthday, but the sounds bring to life for me an all too real feeling of what others are going through and have gone through. So, on this birthday of our great land I have one hope and that is for peace, world peace. I know, it is a simple little hope, but surely some day we will tire of killing each other and learn to live in harmony. We all have to die some day, why bring it on ourselves?

I know, I'm a silly girl. But if I give up on world peace then I'd REALLY be depressed.

Happy Birthday America, you old goat. The National Anthem still makes me cry. Thank you to all of the men and women who have fought, died and lived to protect our freedom. My granddaughter is upstairs sleeping safely and soundly because of you. We will never be able to repay you. Ever.