Just call me O.J.

Holy shit people, my morning commute is insane lately. Yesterday was both sad and awesome all at the same time. I was starring in my very own Hertz commercial. I left the house early, about 10 minutes earlier than normal. Traffic on 480 was horrible. So, that set me back. I got off the freeway and did my best Nascar weaving in and out of traffic. Finally made it to work and had about 6 minutes to park and sprint to the time clock (you know, because of those phucking points if I am tardy). At the light that I need to make a right at to get to my garage some dumbass bus driver is just sitting there blocking the road (sidenote: are ALL RTA drivers just phucking retards? Is that a requirement to be a bus driver???). So, I punch the gas and get out in the left lane to go around the bus and make a right. As I'm getting ready to play chicken with an oncoming car so that I can turn left into my garage some pedestrian comes strolling directly into where I need to turn. Whatever, I turn anyway almost hitting her (actually I didn't mean to almost hit her and I did mouth "sorry" to which she responded somewhat negatively so I yelled "well get out of my way you stupid bitch" but I don't think she heard me). FINALLY I get in my garage and I'm down to about 5 minutes left to park and run. As I am going up the ramps I get stuck behind some bunghole waiting for a spot. I try to pass him, but the jerk pulling out of the spot doesn't stop when I'm nearly behind her and I have slam on my brakes and reverse. UGH. I finally get around these assclowns and am heading up another ramp at warp speed when I pass an open spot. I slam on the brakes and reverse (I did actually look behind me) when I see a car has sped up trying to get the spot. Uh, hell no McDouchebag, I'm getting that spot. So, I rubbed him a little - hey rubbin' is racin' and I'm racin' the clock and a dictator. I get the spot. I take literally 3 seconds to grab my purse and lunchbag and the sprint begins. I jumped over an old lady, I knocked over some dude with a walker and I think I may have spit on the jerk on the lower level who cost me precious minutes and I arrived at the time clock. Clocked in at 8:36. I had a full minute cushion! People, that is some skill right there!

Also, I'm pretty sure this woman was the reason for the bad traffic on 480.