No, not yet.....please!

I don't know about you guys, but I am not ready for this. I've seen the commercial for this movie maybe 3 or 4 times and each time I am reduced to tears. I am just not ready to go see a movie about one of the worst days in America's history. Before you all start with your arguments, I am not saying that the movie should not have been made or that no one should go see it, I'm just saying that I personally am not ready. When I went to therapy last year I discussed this with my therapist, the fact that I can't seem to move on with regard to 9/11. The fact that anytime I watch anything about it I sob for all those lost, all the suffering of that day and the days that followed. I don't know if I'll ever not cry and feel such loss when I think about that terrible day. Apparently I am normal - at least the therapist said so. And I was beginning to think about it less and I was beginning to move on, and then out of no where BAM I saw that commercial. All of it came flooding back in on me and overwhelmed me. Actually, I was pretty surprised at my reaction. I mean, the tears were instantaneous, right along with that feeling of sadness. I posted a poem I wrote on the 1st anniversary of 9/11. I thought by writing that poem and sharing it I would feel better. I guess I did a little.

Who knows, maybe I should go see the movie, cry my eyes out the entire time (not a plan, I just know that I will) and get it out.