Things no one will tell you

A few things that no one tells you when you are going to have a baby, or in my case, babies.

1. The gas pain after a C-section makes you want to die, especially if you try to laugh. Oh my God. You will want to die.
2. If you have a baby in the NICU and one to take home with you, don't get used to anything. Also you will have a false sense of "we know what we are doing" that will quickly be destroyed once the second one comes home.
3. You will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Seriously. Especially when you are alone with the two babies and they won't stop crying and you can't figure out what is wrong with them because THEY REFUSE TO TELL YOU. Then they high five each other when you aren't looking.
4. It is a for sure thing that once you quiet one down, the other will start screaming. Generally because she's spit out her binky. If they can't live without it, WHY DO THEY SPIT IT OUT?!
5. While babies sleep a lot, they do not sleep a lot all at one time, and most definitely they do not sleep a lot at night.
6. Even 4 hours after they are done eating it is possible to get covered in spit up. You wouldn't think so, but it can happen. Twice in one day even.
7. I've never had one baby, so nothing to compare it to, but with two babies it is nearly impossible to do much of anything throughout the day. It took me 10 hours to wash about 10 bottles today. Seriously. They are napping right now while I shovel some food in my face which is why I can type this. Also, I'm hiding in the closet so they can't sense that I'm doing something other than for the collective (that would be them and they are trying to assimilate me and trust me, resistance is futile).
8. Showering every day is never gonna happen, and sleep is for wusses.
9. Sometimes when Dave is at work I feel completely alone and lonely and completely overwhelmed and like I can't do anything right, and thank God I have wonderful family to count on to get me through those tough times.
10. They will fake that they are sleeping soundly and then as soon as you lie down on the couch, they will scream as if the someone has pinched them.

But seriously, I love them so much and am SO thrilled that the are both here and both very healthy, with a healthy case of sewer ass. I love being a mommy and look forward to the time when I have enough sleep to look back and reflect on all of this. They will be a month old tomorrow and I am amazed at how quickly it has gone by. We should probably start looking at colleges next week so that we are ahead of the game.