I remembered my password!

I apologize for my absence. In my defense it was not intentional, I joined the circus and quite honestly I was pretty busy with that.

We had a wonderful holiday. The weather was so nice that we were able to play cornhole on the deck for quite a few hours. Yes, we are hillbillies. Yes, we like it. My Mom and sis Sarah are now cornhole addicts.

I was trying to convert the highchair into a swing, obviously by following the pictures on the back. I followed the directions and wouldn't you know that bitch of a baby footrest broke free and nailed me right in the forehead. I am fairly certain that Dave ruptured something trying not to laugh at me. I immediately told him it was fine to laugh, I'm sure it looked hilarious. My forehead is still sensitive to the touch.

We put both of our Christmas trees up on Sunday. The one in the family room is the playful, multicolor lights with the hodge podge of ornaments we've collected over the years. The tree in the living room is the more formal tree that is in the front of the house for all to see, with white lights and ONLY Elvis and Star Trek ornaments. We are the freakin' epitomy of coolness. The Fonz has nothing on us.

Woo hoo

You guys are totally going to want me even more after you hear this. Bowling last night was out of this world.

My series:
170
145
252

Holy shit, I know. That was my best game/series ever. My average is 159.

I then proceeded to win every hand of cards. Oh and I struck out in the 10th frame of the first game which got me $5 from each teammate ($20 total).

I am a little pissed at myself for blowing it in the 10th frame of my last game. Threw a shitty split w/my first ball. Did manage to pick it up. Then threw another shitty ball for my last effort.

And, because I'm an asshole, when one of the other bowlers congratulated me on a good game my response was "should have been a 300." Yeah, I'm that douchebag.

My new nickname

At work I have received a new nickname. Would you like to know how I got it? I thought so. It all started a couple of weeks ago when I went out to call a patient to come back and be seen. I go out and start yelling Betty Smith (last name changed due to stupid HIPPA). I yell it a couple of times and no one answers. Finally, this lady looks at our front desk girl and whispers "does she mean Barbara?" I was SO embarrassed. I immediately say "I'm so sorry, but she told me the wrong name" referring to our front desk girl. I then haul ass out of there with the patient to avoid the charts and death glares being thrown at me. S (not using real names, so deal) then proceeds to tell all of the other front desk people what happened. At that point I received the first part of my new name. Betty.

Oh yes, they think it is hysterical. They don't call me Mel or Melanie any longer, only Betty.

So then later that week I go back out to the front desk to pick up a chart. No one is at the front desk. This dude and his woman roll up to the desk (no seriously, he was in a wheelchair). The wife says to me all anxiously that her hubby needs another Tang. I was like shit dude, I don't know where to get the Tang. I figure I can go over to the cath lab and score some ginger ale for him, but I wasn't sure. I start looking for our front desk people. I find S (other S). I tell him that this person is obviously a diabetic and in need of a Tang due to low sugar. He looks at me like I'm crazy. He says "are you sure he doesn't need a tank?" I was like WTF are you talking about tank? I then look at him like he's an idiot. He rolls his eyes at me and comes out to see what the guy needs. The wife looks at him and says "my husband needs another OXYGEN TANK." I believe I turned 25 shades of red. Why didn't she say OXYGEN in the first place?! Asshole. Meanwhile, S is laughing his ass off. I turn and leave as quickly as possible.

I then receive part 2 of my nickname - Tang. My new official nickname at work is Betty Tang. In fact, they friggin' had Betty Tang overhead paged to return to the front desk. I was laughing so hard I could barely breath. I won't tell them that though. Buncha jerks.

Here I am

Did you think the Zombies got me? They almost did! I totally escaped though. Phew.

Here's what has been going on since we last spoke:

Nick is still a slut

We had a kick ass Halloween party at the house last Saturday night. It was awesome. Ate tons, drank loads and passed out lots of candy. Then passed out! We had a full house as 19 people spent the night! I loved it.

Yesterday was my stupid birthday. I've decided I'm not having any more. I'm going to stay this age forever. Screw you guys, yes I can do that! As usual, Lo Lo threw me a wonderful party at work. Thanks Lo Lo. Then off to bowling for another party! Sue made my favorite chocolate casada cake. YUMMY. Everyone got me really nice gifts and I bowled like a pro - 190, 199 and 165. Yes, Brooke - I posted bowling scores.

Not doing much tonight. Probably finish cleaning the house from the party. May pay some bills. Pretty exciting stuff, I know.

What the hell is up with the Steelers? White Boy Bob - would you please explain to them how to pull their heads out of their asses???? This season SUCKS.

The Cavs won their opener last night - they look good! Playoffs here we come, with King James leading the way.

Apparently Ubie is off somewhere drowning so I'm gonna go find her and give her mouth to mouth! I think tongue is optional.