Lunch time follies

I went to Subway for lunch today. I am inspired by Jared. I am waiting in line to order my 6" (size does matter) tuna on cheddar cheese bread with lettuce, pickles, green peppers and vinegar (I ask for "a little more" and the Harvard graduate working at Subway puts enough on to douche the entire Cleveland area). Anyway, do I get to look at some 6 foot tall piece of yummy man eye candy? Hell no. I get to look at Suzie McPantstootight who is sporting a lovely wedge for all of us poor folks who are trapped in line waiting for our sandwich artists. It was like a car wreck. I could not look away, even after throwing up a little in my mouth. So, note to all the ladies: please disengage all pants from ass crack prior to getting in line for food. It is not only nice, but proper lunch etiquette. Don't believe me? Ask Ms. Manners. She has a whole section on underwear lodged in the back door! By the way, Laura, was that a guy or a girl with a full beard who wrapped our sandwiches? I was oddly turned on by him/her.