Why today is not fantabulous

1. The mother effing dog started barking at 3 a.m. and apparently was on a mission from God NOT TO STOP.
2. Both stupid dogs ran away this morning. Still aren't back. They are off roaming the neighborhood spreading cheer and love, and I am sitting here worried about them. They suck.
3. Been up since 3 a.m. thanks to #1.
4. Have a pimple on my chin, and I use that word loosely as it could actually be a conjoined twin finally showing up, that is roughly the size of Uganda. It hurts, has a pulse independent from the rest of my body, is distracting my co-workers, and is causing me blurred vision.
5. Did I mention my dogs are assholes?
6. I ordered what I thought was a whole sandwich at Au Bon Pain for about $47.50 and realized I got a half sandwich when I returned to my desk. I am hungry, and now pissed at Au Bon Pain. Apparently my chin tumor distracted them as well.
7. I went to the ATM to deposit two checks. No envelopes. Key Bank are a bunch of bastards.
8. My huband snores. 'Nuff said.

I am certain there is more, so I will add as crappy things come to me!