Murphy's Law says....

What can go wrong, will.

Sounds so simple, right? Simple enought that you would think that you could plan for it, right? Not so much. Every day of my life is Murphy's Law. Seriously.

Today. I woke up and showered and got ready for work. Big deal. I left for work. It was raining. Great. So I sat on 480 for like 45 minutes. That was great. I caught up on my heavy sighing and steering wheel smashing.

I get to work and Lo Lo reminds me that we have training at 9. So, I smartly tell her that I'll arrive shortly before and will thusly meet her at the library outside of training. So smart. I end up waiting 20 minutes because she, that is right, she is running late. We go to training. It was alright. V made me laugh my ass off, and I returned the favor. In fact we get looks from others
in the class. Oops.

I got back to my desk and worked my ass off. I told Dave that I would get done early in order to help him plant the 70+ plants that he picked up today. I thought I would get out around 2. Ha ha. I left at 3:50 p.m. Murphy showed my ass. I got home and for 2 hours we planted our asses off. We still have a garage full.

Anyway. I had something to say. Damn if I can remember. But really I did. So, maybe I'll go have a sip of wine and figure out what the hell I was going to write about, cuz there sure is no substance yet.....though I have an idea....

Also, when I was I have no idea how old I saw Night of the Living Dead. The original. I think i was maybe 10. Dude, it fucked me up. I had an entire plan of escape for when they came. I still have a plan of attack for when the zombies come. You can laugh at me, but I seriously want to put a ladder in the bathroom so that I can get onto the roof. When I'm home alone I still sometimes envision the dead walking to my house and i must figure a way to escape. I don't want to be eaten. Duh. So, I'm a retard, but I totally have an escape route. Every single place I've lived in going back to college I've had an escape route. I don't want my brains eaten. The new movie previews are freakin' me out cuz it is like I am 10 again and so sure that I will be devvoured by the dead. That would SO suck.

A few things from my recent travels

Things I learned while out of the country:

1. In Canada when the dude at the restaurant is telling you about the breakfast buffet it is apparently bad form to ask if they have Canadian bacon. I know this because I asked. He was not amused.

2. In Canada when the taxi driver asks where you are from and you say Ohio, the next question is "Oh, from Cleveland?" To which we respond in our best Swedish accent "Ja, we are from Cleveland."

3. In Canada when I try to fit in and throw "eh" in every now and then, they aren't amused.

4. In Canada when watching the Ohio State Buckeyes play football in a local bar, they didn't really get why I kept yelling "GO BUCKS." Course neither did they people I was with cuz it was mostly on commercials when I yelled.

5. A bottle of white wine at the hotel bar costs roughtly one million dollars. That's bullshit, eh!

6. In Canada apparently our tolerance for wine is much higher and we put that to the test!

7. In order to be a border guard you must have zero personality and even less sense of humor. I understand the need to be serious, but come on.

8. Walkie Talkies on road trips are key. Especially if the car you are following is watching Stripes on DVD. We got to hear all the key lines! Lighten up, Francis.

9. It is impossible to get the people in the car in front of you to either flash boobs or moon. Friggin' wusses.

10. If you go to enough wineries someone will eventually try to take your glass of wine and drink it. Just ask Dave.

Did you guys miss me? Sorry, Canadia loved me so much that they kept me! Ok, they didn't. I've have been swamped busy and I could easily list all the things keeping me from you, but I know you don't really want to hear it. Suffice it to say that I am 1) looking for a new job; 2) looking for a new bowling league; 3) so stressed out that my shoulders and back hurt and no one truly understands so I can't really vent and 4) need a housekeeper.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Things could be much worse.

Ah well, just wanted to say hello. I have no time at work for this so I had to squeeze in our time after bowling. I am exhausted and need to go to bed. I did bowl over average tonight if anyone cares. I won't bore you with the scores.

Also I think I've lost maybe 5 more pounds. I'll weigh myself tomorrow. If I haven't I'm going to be SO pissed. I have been working really hard.

Don't forget our Halloween Party is coming up on 10/28. It will be a blast! I'm going as part of the cast of Scrubs. I'm Carla. Woo hoo - fiesty Latino woman. I can SO do that.

Lastly, what the fuck is going on with my Steelers? Dammit men, get it together.