My Therapist Claims There's Hope

He also said Nick is a puss infected SLUT.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Just shoot me now

Our house apparently sucks ass. Here is the feedback after two showings: too many trees, not enough grass. Deck wood is curling. Screened in porch needs to be painted. Needs new carpet. Bedrooms not in good spots for kids. Needs a new roof (which it doesn’t!!!).

Who in their right mind complains about too many mother fucking shade giving trees?!
Very frustrated. They are already recommending we lower the price. WTF?! It has been on the market for a couple of weeks at the price THEY SUGGESTED. Feeling very stressed out now.

So, after I go to Ambiance (the store for lovers) tonight to get stuff for my sister's bachelorette party on Saturday I will be spending the evening cutting down trees, uncurling wood, getting new carpet and moving the bedrooms to more suitable areas in the house for, what I'm sure, are snotty little kids, and planting grass. I may squeeze in time for a bottle or five of wine.

They did say, however, that the house was nice and neat and clean. NO SHIT YOU GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLES. WE SPENT THREE DAYS CLEANING NON STOP FOR YOU.

posted by Melanie was here @ 1:48 PM  

9 Comments:

  • At August 11, 2005 2:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What do they know? don't listen to them... don't cut down any trees either... that's something people can always do... Tell them it's the charm!

     

  • At August 11, 2005 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Did they look in the backyard? There's plenty of grass for a young tike or two to play. Hopefully, a couple with slightly older kids will find it and like it as much as you. Carpet is something that you wouldn't want to replace as you're moving out. They probably wouldn't like the color that you picked. That's something that a prospective buyer should know they might have to change. If they want to buy a house that's just to their liking, then go build jack@ss.

     

  • At August 11, 2005 4:59 PM, Blogger Melanie was here said…

    Thanks guys, you've definitely helped me feel better.
    I would like to point out that I don't even want to move. I adore my home and it pisses me off to have these wankers coming through and talking shit about it.

     

  • At August 11, 2005 7:31 PM, Blogger John said…

    I will stab your realtor in the jaw. Send me your fun thing whatever it is.
    jmanpain @ hotmail.com

     

  • At August 11, 2005 8:11 PM, Blogger Melanie was here said…

    John - thank you for the offer. I'm gonna take a pass, but tomorrow your services may be needed. I'll send you the fun thing tomorrow! Just a teaser....it's poopy!

     

  • At August 11, 2005 9:17 PM, Blogger Scarlet Hip said…

    You are such a dainty little blossom.

     

  • At August 12, 2005 2:02 AM, Blogger GingerSnaps said…

    trees? are you fucking kidding me? do they not want to breathe?

     

  • At August 12, 2005 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    They're just trying to find anything wrong with the house so they can try to get it for a lower cost. It's what a prospective buyer does. Also, if they don't give their realtor picky feedback like that, their house hunt may be prolonged, b/c their realtor is showing them the wrong hosues for them. It's only been two viewings. Just wait and see what the open house brings this Sunday. You still have some time before you actually have to move. Love you!

     

  • At August 12, 2005 10:05 AM, Blogger Melanie was here said…

    Brooke - someday I really open up and tell you guys how I really feel! Seriously, sorry if I've offended!

    Sue - thanks for the encouragement. I feel better today. It's kind of like someone bad talking your Mom - you just want to judo chop them in the carotid artery and cause them to bloody themselves. But really, I'm not bitter!

     

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